yeaps. had chinese test today abit tough lars. pls pls pls dun fail! wen fer maths tuition juz now and dis gurl i-dun-noe-wads-her-name started flirtin wif our teacher again. i mean. she's started doin tad since she enrolled in our class. and the thing is. she's actin cute. and her looks sucks mans. yucks. i was simply grossed out at the way she tok to our teacher in tad disgustin fake voice and its not lik my teacher is a handsome young man or anitin in fact, he's a little bit lik mingkiat but better. haha. he's toot but nice. anywaes, i was simply annoyed at her desperate behavior. ok fine.shall mine my own business next time. argh. im gonna see her again later for my science tuition. surprisingly tho, she doesnt flirt wif our science teacher whom happnes to be an indian haha. tad explains y. uh wadever she's gross. wa lao ehs! i wen for my maths tuition juz now and my teacher gav me dis worksheet to do which is about mensuration and i found two ques inside tad came out for the maths test yesterday. oh great rites. how concidential. and i was lik 'SHIT' wen my teacher tells me i did one of the ques wrong for the test. aaaaaarrgghhhhh... y didnt he gav me dis worksheet earlier?!? too lates. boos. quote frm mingky to guiru- one mor of yr wise remarks and i'll slap you! den he did dis really weird gesture wif his hands. and i was lik laughin to myself. and dumb maureen was scoldin those ppl hu didnt do her hmk includin me and i was smilin away. wahahaa..stupid maureen. hmms. haven thot of wad present to buy for our lovely dear teachers shall brood bout it. anywaes, i wan to go bac to my pri school on teacher's day! wahaha..anticipation! and i hope der will be mor 6a peeps goin miss dem so much sia. bowlin was fun. juz remember to check the price before playin haha. dun feel too guilty huiting. so.... i support the decision of holdin a gatherin! yaays. woohoos. haha. woopies! my aunt gav me the 'a series of unfortunate events' dvd! and i was lik so happy cuz i missed the movie and i wan to watch it so bad so weets! can watched it nows! wahahaha.. shuang! kkaes. gtg soon to prepare for my tuition liaos. sians. rachel said tad she would lend me the archie comics showdown! and guess hu archie chose? betty? veronica?? *qing qi dong dian nao* *di di di di di di* *drum roll* and archie chose... NONE! he chose cheryl blossom. =.=. wad a disappointment. hahaa.. too bads, kk.gtgs.. takkares ppl! =)
sorry
Thursday, August 25, 2005 6:57 PM
stupid chestnut. keep hittin my head today. as in.real hard. insensitive infidel. haha.may he get retribution. MWAHAHA. and he keep callin me wad Barabbas or sth. the merchant of venice thingy. argh.so unfilial. cuz tad teacher wif the ugly handwritin lik a 4 year olds' wan dem to brin sth tad has a sentimantal value to persent in front of the class ma. deh he use my yellow and old ruler to present in front of the teacher and class sommor say its his dad's one. wa laos.i wen becum his dad?!? haha.unfilial son. hmms. kia weng lost his fone today. as in. it was stolen. wahaha.. detective felicia to the rescue! lols.lame lars. well anywaes,kia weng was lik freaked out and we went to the general office to report a missing wallet becuz der would be demerits for bringin hp to schoo lehs den the stupid tanah told us to fill in the lost and found form he den chased us out. wa laos.sucky mans. hope kia weng can find his fone soon ! had PE test today. wa laos.PE aso got test sommor volleyball test argh.i tink i onli hit four times lor. dammits. nvm.alot of ppl aso same as me haha.except lulu the pro lars 20 sth times leh..wow. ahha..so gd.can get A liaos. aso had maths test today i comfirm 100% sure i lost 5 marks de. argh.but overall paper quite easy lars. juz hope dun score too low can liaos. hais. lemme tell u mans. i noe i repeat alot of times liao. but i repeat again i repeat that i repeat that i repeat again. i repeat that i repeat that i repeat that i repeat that i repeat again. OK STOP. i shall repeat. WEI CHOONG AND JUNYANG AND JUE DUI SUPERSTAR RAWKS!!!!! wahahhahaa.. the show yesterday was humongously good mans! weichoong and junyang so shuai!!!!! hahahahaha.. den weichoong's hair so nice. i so damn wan the tickets so so so damn bad mans. aww.too bads. ya so amanda got the tickets for today's GIRLS CONTESTANTS show.AHS.. lik..BIGGIE DEAL.. ya so? i mean. NAHS.. BOOS. =) hmms. took bac my science physics and chem mid yr papers today afyter school i totally flunked it mans. the marks stinks. and alot of ppl were gettin real low marks too. but mine seriously sucks. im not exactly anticipatin for my bio papar. cuz even if i got full marks for tad(ya i wish).. i still wont score well. so wells hav to really buck up! jia you!!! hmms. boony..dun feel apologetic lars. its not ENTIRELY yr fault. only a little bit. wan to blame blame the *** guy. ya im mean but i told u i did intend to apologize but after wad happened today i tak bac my words i WAS feelin guilty and APOLOGETIC but no mor now. i mean. its a fact rites. everyone can tell tad he is ***. dey juz dun say it outloud. guess im outspoken? and i dun mean to say bein *** is not good. in fact,im not even discriminatin. i mean..wads the big deal of bein ***? i dun giv a damn. i was juz so angry at the time becuz nobody was listenin to me for the dance so i got so fed up and did rash things so ya i do admit it was my fault and im sorry. but words brought out cannot be brought back in. so if u decide to be generous anfd forgivin god bless you. but if u decide to hold a grudge. so be it. i cant do anitin except for apologizing. so it does not depends on me so ya.. tads all i gotta say. kkaes.hav chinese test2moro.. gtgs stardy liaos. so ya one last thing! huiyun and peiying are bring hell to me! aaaaaaaaaaaaah! hahaa..sittin next to dem is a torture!! wahaha..kkaes.jkjk.. muz bear wif it!
sigh
Wednesday, August 24, 2005 6:39 PM
k. dun tink i did too well fer my hist. test. so-so lars. oh wells. no use broodin over it. hais..hav maths test 2moro trigonometry and mensuration waaaahh..die liaos. haha.mr hazri is nice he gaivs us hints for the test. and had never scolded us? ha.and his zhao pai dong zuo rawks toos. hahhaa..kkaes. hmms.wads goin on today. nth much. keong made us gurls run 6 rounds today. becuz we walked instead of run wen he asked us to. haha. attitude so we run la. but i tink we ran like....5 rounds? haa..hu cares. den we did volleyball. yups. so it keeps hitting my head.the ball i mean. haha..and i cant do mor dan 5 times lar. argh.how to pass? hav to practice!!!!! yawns. spent most of the lessons today to learn hist for the test. cuz i didnt really revise yesterdae. slept the whole day . had a terrible headache. wahaha..woke upp at 11.15 liddat. and revise a little bit only lors. den go slp liaos. hais.my head hurts mans. ahaa..hav to go stardy liaos. no one online wan all so guai go stardy maths. i shall do the same. wahhaa.. bye ppl. x)
hmphs
8:51 AM
ARGH. im seriously pissed off lars. arrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh. ok RELAC FELICIA. i cant believ som ppl. dey laugh for the sake of showin ppl tad dey are happy. as in..nobody's joking and she jus LAUGH. pathetic. anyone can tell its fake. haha.if u ask i tink the joke's on her acting oh-so-angelic oh pls. if u r an angel den michael jackson would be god *BARF* at least michael jackson looks better FRANKLY opps.i gtgs byebyee
shameless
Tuesday, August 23, 2005 6:33 PM
bleahs. had home econs test today..wahaha. not bad la my food.very popular lehs.haha i tink i got 15 marks out of 20 lehs..mwahhaha. pro sia.haha..no lars.. my cookin skills damn lan one lors. but today so got cheng jiu gan lols.boony create trouble mor dan help lors. lols.no lars.got help lars. wash the dishes lor. mwahahahahahhahaha... i qi fu ta..hu ask him so slow ones. haha.okok lars.dun say liao or else he cum scold me. btws.i dun tink he dare. BOON HAO!SCOLD ME LAR! hahhaa..he very nice to bully one lehs.. i ask him at least five times to scold me wen i shouted at him unreasonably. and he didnt even complained a word. ARGH. BOON HAO! I NOE WADS YR PURPOSE! U WANNA MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY RITES! SCOLD ME! U IDIOT! SCOLD ME! LOLs.i sound lik a sicko mans. haha LAME.=.= LOLs.at least he got boil the macoroni soup and mix the cornflour. and wash the vegs. WOW! so PRO rites! my grandma aso noe how to do lors. lols.kkaes.stop teasing liaos. wa laos! i felt so sexually harrassed today. all becuz of huiyun and peiying. lols.shall not elaborate much. cuz its so embarrasin!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! huiyun and peiying shuddup! i prefer u two elaboratin mor on... *drum roll* THE TUBE thankyouverymuch.=) oh yar.som ppl tell lies. as in,alot. even till the last moment still dun wanna admit. ARGH.she is despised- woohoos.almost the whole class noe a common secret!!! haha..izzit still consider a secret? hmms.shld be lars..cuz som ppl in our class dunnoe lehs.. ahem ahem.. ahha..dis secret RAWKS! fine.shuddup felicia. dis is crappy. hav hist test 2moro. sians.haven really stardy. hav to buck up~! argh.sians.haha kkaes.feelin sleepy. YAWNS. shall tak a nap. zzzzzzzzzzzzz...xP
argh.
Monday, August 22, 2005 10:09 PM
yoz im home! wahhaa..drank oreo plus blended ice plus pearls plus choclate drink today at the central for 1 dollar and 50 cents. haha..yummies! erms.almost dozed off durin eng period todae.had nevr lik maureen's lesson except wen she's tokin crapp and forgot to keep track of the time. yups. so we were discussin bout the EQ thingy. and i scored 70 marks!hahaha. 50-70marks----->yr EQ is moderately high blah blah blah..sth liddat whatver.ming kiat gort less dan 30 marks.wahaha.. EXPECTED. he shld get -5 marks or sth mans.ha. hmphs.got dis missed call frm som freak on my handphone last night. it was an unknown number. so i called back usin my huse fone. and dis mangkali guy picked up. using his indian-ish tone(no offense to any indian frens),he said hello? and den i said did anyone call felicia using that number? and he was lik- who are you? whats yr name? why do u hav my number? where are you frm? singapore? how did u get my number? how?how?how? and i was reapetin for lik..hundred of times- erms.i tink i gort the wrong number. sorry i tink i pressed the wrong number. sorry.got the wrong number! i tink i pressed the wrong number! ARGH.i was lik repeatin mydself so many times and he's going'how did u egt my number?what's yr name"u frm sinapore issit?' sommor in tad pervertic voice EWW. i feaked out mans. so i said the last time- SORRY.I GOOT THE WRONG NUMBER.BYE. and i hung up. damn magkali. and i was lik so scared tad he would call again. i deleted off tad missed call and was freakin away. sucky mans.hahahahah.. and fiona.dun worry.i will giv him yr number in case he calls again.HAPPY? lOls. kkaes.gtgs.hav to stardy for history lars. haha..byebyeee!=)))
achoo
8:00 PM
achoo!bad flu today sia.dammit.i brought a jacket to school but didnt wore it at the end.had eng test today.magazine report.had the format covered dis mornin.quite easy lars.except that i had used three full scape papers juz to write som damn report.first foolscape wasted becuz my words were untidy.second foolscape wasted becuz i missed out sth important for the format.third foolscape was finally used becuz der is not much time left and i cant possibly redo and write on a fourth one.-.-
wahhaa..boon hao spelled 'research' as 'reserach'...lols.re-se-rach..so lame.hmms.today's main topic arnd was the thing tad ahem ahem wore.no offense or anitin but why the hell is tad wore to school for?and ders even colour.dun mean to offend but juz voicin out my opinion which seems to be the same opinion as the whole class.almost the whole class.anywaes,der were alotta commotion and imitation and laughters.but seriously..a bra is nice enough.ders not a need to change.yups.but dis is personal referance.if ahem ahem tinks ders a need,den i'll shuddup.x)
gtg for cldds..now at com lab.kkaes.hav to rehearse for the mid autumm the performance..ppl muz go and support me!!!!wahahaa..kk.bye!=)
neutral
Sunday, August 21, 2005 7:04 PM
hmms.went to 'jack's place' for lunch..yummy!haha.doin art nows.and i hav glue all over my hands.and i still touched the keyboard.mwahhaa..okok..i shall go wash my hands now.WAIT.im bac!ok lame.erms.i really really wanna get the tickets to watch jue dui superstar on wed.cuz tads the day wen all 24 finalists are cumin back onstage and dis means..i get to see weichoong and junyang again!!!so ya.i sent the letter and really really hope to get two tickets back!eunice so shuang..got the tickets..*envious*..haha..but i dun tink i wanna buy the tickets to go to the indoor stadium liaos..junyang aso not inside le..wads the point.still tink weilian shldnt get in.i mean,he dun hav the 'jue dui wai xing' and 'jue dui wu tai mei li' rites..and junyang has all of dem.regretted not votin mor!argh.but i tink som recording company is gonna pei yang junyang and im waitin for his album!wahaha..hmms.home econs test is on tues and i still haven decide wad to cook.argh.im not the kitchen type kind of gurl lars.i only noe hw to cook instant noodles lar.so pro hors.groans.digestion of food tad chapt veri borin lehs.i was half asleep wen miss tan was droning..ok.she was not dronin la.but i juz feel sleepy tads all.the chapt is borin.yawns.so many chim words somemor..hnmns.i wan go bac to kcpps on teacher's day! wanna see vivien and jac and ppl again!haha..oh ya..not forgettin my no1 fan!haha..muz hav a gatherin on tad day hors!=))))))))) so i gtg continue my art liaos..hav eng test 2moro...i haven learn the format yet.shall do tad 2moro.bye peeps.x)
...
1:42 AM
whoosh.my com has finally been repaired!!!wahhahaaa..i waited for dis day for so long!hahaha..kkaes..shall quicly update on wad happened these few weeks.. 1.firstly...HAPPY BELATED BDAE HUIYUN!!!! hope u lik my pres! =p 2. sobs.junyang didnt get in..he lost to weilian the blind one.ya i noe its not weilian's fault and its the votes prob.but im really very depressed lehs.i cried.junyang sing so well lors..nvm..he shall alwaez be my S U P E R S T A R!!! JUNYANG RAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3.2e2 didnt get in the auditions for the teacher's day dance thingy..only 1 sec 2 class got in..quite shocked lars..cuz we recieve quite good comments frm our udience and frens bout our dance..but whatever.it was an experience.no mor stayin-back-after-school-until-5 sth liaos..and no mor screamin n shoutin.PHEW.but tad damn miss leong wans us to dance for our subject teachers on teacher's day in class althou we didnt got in.boohoos.i so dread it mans.and bout the 2e6 and 2e2 conflict rites..RELAC.no one is at fault lars..its the TEACHER's prob.hu ask dem booked the dance rm for both our class?hahaa. 3.hmms.went to vist my grandmother in the hospital ytd.she looked and felt better.and i heard she's gonna be discharged today.yipees! 4.i was irritated by som ppl's insensitivity.the most thing i hate about a guy is his insensitivity.thankyou.*bows*x) 5.went to attend a streamin talk in school ytd at arnd 7.45 wif my parents and bro.and it ended so fast lors.and my parents didnt even understand wad miss tan the mushroom head was tokin bout.wad a waste of time.at least we went up to seow lan jie to enquire. oks.i gtg eat liaos.buiaz.~!
secrets
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 9:06 PM
yoyoYo!erms.in com lab nws.stayed back for home econs and aso practising of the teacher's day dance lars..hahaa..so tired lors..yawns.audition on thurs..hav only one mor day to practise lehs..
ooooooh..i found out alot of secrets of one person today!!!!!!mwahahhahahaa..it was juz a little accident and the secret is OUT!wahahahahhaha...so shuang lehs.really wan to say but cannot say..shhhh..lols.okok..
erms.today ian sick and vommitted.again.tsk tsk..never takkare of himself..hais. IAN! muz vomit mor and fall sick mor so tad i(welfare officer) can bring skip class and bring u to sick bay!!!!mwahahahaha...ok lars..jkjk..takkares hors idiot.
kkaes.hav to go liaos.my com still spoil!argh.
PUBLICATION FRM BOONY: AHHHH! I CHANGED BLOGSKIN!!! GO SEE GO SEE!! TAG ME TOO!!!HAHAHAHAHA
yeaps.so wan zhen and cassandra aka cassey aka old woman and shumin and jeremy came to my huse today.to practise for the dance.yups..cassandra and wan zhen arrived first at arnd 2 sth.den we waited for shumin hu was reaching my huse soon.den we three went to my televison room to hear the song.den jeremy cam at arnd 3 sth and we were lik crazily waving at him frm yr window wen he was below my block.hais.so dey four were learnin the dance frm me! mwahahah..but before tad..we dance mary moon!!and we gurls paired up to dance a romantic dance!!whahaa..we laughing away and disgracing ourselves.haha..wen we FINALLY start to dance SERIOUSLY...it was a mess.lols.no lars..can say dey learn quite fast lars..esp shumin..hahaha..so serious all of a sudden..hahaa..jeremy look so weird wen he danced..hahaa..but its ok lars..yeaps.had fun and laugher throughout thh whole thing.den at arnd...5 sth??wan zhen and cassandra left..den jeremy left a little later..left shumin and me!so we began to learn the mi xue wei xi's song'xie xie ni'...mayb gonna sing tad song for teacher's day lehs..hhaaa..weird weird de..but the song very nice..i listenin to it nows..hehee..see whether can pss the audition first lars..hahaa..hmms.den we wrote down the lyrics of the song by listenin to the song over and over again until i began to suspect if my cd is gonna spoil..hais..yups..and we sang.and sang.AND SANG!woohoos.haha..den my parents fetch shumin to rivervale mall to meet her frens lors..so tads bout all for the day.hahaa..monday 2e2 ppl hav to stay back for practising of the dance hors!!!!!hahaa..kkaes.gtgss..byebyeeeee!=)
HURRAYS!
Friday, August 12, 2005 6:15 PM
HURRAYS! JUNYANG GOT IN!!!!!WOOHOOS!wahaha.yaaaaay!!! support junyang! vote for junyang!! junyang!junyang!!junyang and weichoong RAWKS!woos!hahaa..kkaes..shall stop my crazinness and announce the sad news.derrick got eliminated..actually hors..to me is not sad news la..but to alot of ppl it is..hais..dun be too sad kkaes shumin and ppl..tad time weichoong eliminated i aso liddat..hais..find no point in watching the show liaos..haa..but now got junyang..hehee..kelly aso nort bad lars..kkaes.enough bout SUPERSTAR liaos.x) hmms.havin a headache nows.hais.study for test until very late lars..havin science tuition later..dun feel lik goin lehs..hais..audition for the teacher's day dance is on wed.so we hav to practise-FAST!haha..hmms.today's science test sucks mans..its damn tough lors.aha...oks.oh yars!jeremy gave me a belated bdae pres and my bdae is lik..5 months ago!wahahaa..but the soft toy doggy is so cute!!den i complained tad the ring arnd the doggy's neck looks weird cuz it looks lik the doggy's head is gonna drop out liddat..den wan zhen actually pulled out the ring..and i counld not bear to see lors..hahaa..lik so cruel liddat.budden it looks so much better now..so i hav to thank my dear wan zhen!thankyou!hahaa..the doggy so so cute!!so nice to hug..hahaa..kakes.shall stop crappin and say GOODBYE!wahaha..=p
FINALLY.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:36 AM
ya.im FINALLY updating.wahaas.dis com got sth wrong one lehs..sometimes can on sometimes cannot de..hais..today is NATIONAL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!woohooooooos!!!!!budden so sad..no ticket to go..boohoos.but nevertheless,HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!weets!yaaaaay!wahahaa. hmmms.went bowling ytd after the ndp celebration in school..cuz som of us wan to go watch movie but some of us wan to go bowling..so me..jeremy..peiying..ian..jinfei..wan zhen..clarice..zhen wei and MING KIAT wen to bowl at kovan..haha..played two games..but jeremy and ming kiat played a third game..den jeremy lead mingky by so many points..wahaha..and i am proud to say tad i score a strike on my first game!mwahaha..budden jin fei and jeremy were lik damn pro lars..play wif dem u will feel so inferior..wahahah..anywaes..we had fun althou the ball keep goin into the gutter..hais..den we went to tak neoprints!wahaha..we waited for quite long for this group of ppl to finish neoprinting..den dey tak so long lars..we got fed up lors..den clarice was lik'can ure hurry up?' cuz those ppl were lik taking and taking the neoprint again and again..so we went to another machine and sqeezed inside..wif the shortest in front..mwahahaa..no lars..we juz crammed ourselves and took weird photos with som parts of our head missing and middle finger showing which was proudly done by ian..haha..oh yars..had dis art gallery opening day last sat..den i had to wear the itchy costume..and model on the stage in front of the mayor and buddies..lols..so bo liao lars..budden can earn merit points lehs..mwahahaa..den i wen to the art gallery to see those art sculptures and paitings and aso to enjoy air con..hehees..den i saw dis sculpture tad is some sperms goin into a egg..yaa.and frankly..its nice.seriously la.haha..but sad to say..our toilet bowl sculpture was not der lehs..stupid miss tan didnt wan to put it der..and i saw our sculpture in the art room next to the art gallery and i like the shit sculpture in and arnd the toilet bowl best..really..looks quite real lehs..haha..too bad it was not displayed.argh..wad a pity.... hahaa..hmms.i saw dis cyndi cd in stores tad aso includes dancing steps to her songs..as in the whole mv is cyndi and her background dancers dancing..no mor..juz to let us learn the steps easily if we wan to..and althou i dun really lik cyndi..i lik tad album's mv..but its $18.90 i tink..hais..cannot buy liaos lars..cuz i aso wan to buy jolin's album which include alot of cool mtvs..damn nice.wahahaa..but aso veri ex..boohoos.haha..anywaes..i saw guiru on tv juz now..wahaha..she so lucky..got the tickets to go to the ndp..waaaaahh..so gd..i wan to go aso cannot..hais..actualli i wan to go marina south der ones..cuz can see fireworks and superstar finalists ma..haha.budden my parents say very crowded so at the end never go...hais.so im stuck at home in front of the television..haa..and i haven revise my science yet..yikkes..luckily tomoro no school..oh ya..had to wear red to school ytd.can get merit point lehs..mwahaha.no lars..i not so greedy one..hahaa..hmms..now left three contestants in jui dui superstar and i tink wei lian would be the next one out..hmms..but i tink he sing quite well.bnut not as gd as jun yang!!wahaha..derrick aso sing quite well..but i still support jun yang..hahaa.aiya..wei choong is the best la..too bad he out..sobs.hais...kkaes...gtg..nites and happy national day!!!!!.=)
com spoil lors.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005 9:13 AM
argh.my com spoil lehs...i now at IT lab lors..so long never go online le..wahhaa..me and jeremy and amanda and joonathan went to ian's grandmother huse ytd..yeaps.go visit him lars..budden end up playing wif the dog instead. hehee.den the boys were lik playing ps while me and amanda played wif toffee the dog..wahaha..so cute..lik visiting teh dog instead..haha.so we left at arnd..6.15?yups..took bus back to serangoon interchange wif amanda..and i was damn tired mans..took 82 back home..slept the whole way..very tired lehs..yawns.kkaes..lsson ending liaos.byees.=)
WELCOME:)
profile
felicia Nineteen
aries
marchtwentysix91
kuo chuan presbyterian/ex-agapian
zhonghua sec/2e2'05/4e5'07
innova jc-0811D
ex-cldds slacker
ex-new media arts geek.
Lovesss music, drama, hanging out with my crazy friends, my family, and good food! (:
S.H.E (cheena at heart), Jam xiao jing teng, joe cheng, johnnydepp, ed westwick, jo kwon (2am), taemin (ShiNee), nichkhun (2pm). Ga-In (BEG)
in total randomness, i like stitch too HAHA
and yes of course, Michael Jackson <3
PO TAY TO, PO TAH TO
RAH RAH SIS BOOM BAH
BYE!
tagboard
you are not alone
I love him all the same
saturday, july 18th, 2009.
Michael Jackson, King of Pop
If I were to write this post one week ago I wouldn't have got past the first few lines, without crying so badly.
Admittedly, the news of his passing did not bothered, much less saddened me because my impression of him was vague and as a child I wasn;t exposed to any of this songs or videos, just news from the press every now and then. Till a few days after his death. I went on Youtube and before I knew it I was clicking videos after videos, watching and in awe of this man who not only served to entertain, but strived to serve the community with his enormous heart. And as I watched on and knew more, so much more about what he've been through his life, emotions started pouring in. And when I least expected it, tears started to come. I was never his fan, but now I regret not being one. It is not just one of those idol craze or whatever no, it was true sincere admiration for his works and humanitarianism that touched me, that made me look upon him as a role model.
Its hard to believe that since the media had portrayed him as some wacko freak, paedophile, child molester..etc. but may I say, BULLSHIT. he is none of that sort. Other than being the greatest entertainer of the time and coming up with the most original dance moves that many stars tried hard (but pale in comparison in my opinion) to imitate, Micheal Jackson shares the love he has, especially to children, to people around him. He was a philanthropist, donating millions of dollars to the record 39 charities he supported, and raising more through his own Heal the World Foundation. He built NeverLand Ranch, complete with amusement parks, fun rides, a place where children dreamed of going for fun and laughter. From young, Michael Jackson had a childhood very different from others, where had to perform at a very young age. When he made mistakes, his father used to beat him, and not only with a belt.
To make up for his lost childhood, Michael had always adored children and he himself is somehow like a child trapped in an adult body (watch his documentary, ignore the stupid bastard interviewer who was plain bias and selfish to see that such a nature still exists in a man so great he just had to bring him down. shall not waste time elaborating on this backstabbing ass because he's simply not worth it. If you're interested, watch the documentary Living with Michael Jackson on youtube. I could'nt get past to the last few parts because I got so fed up with his narrow-mindedness and ignorance that I closed the window). So back to the point. Michael Jackson brought orphans to NeverLand, where they play freely in the theme parks and find joy and laughter, which he himself derive more than anyone else' from the happy looks on their faces. Children were invited for sleepovers at his place, because it was safe, secure. But when news of him being a child paedophile arose after being charged by one of the kids who slept in his room, he ended up paying millions of dollars aside from being publicly humiliated and disgraced. because he did nothing disgraceful of that sort. because a few years later the kid owned up that it was his parents who made him to do, succumbed to the temptation of money, something which Micheal Jackson do not lacked. The father was tape-recorded discussing his intention to pursue charges, where he said, "If I go through with this, I win big-time. There's no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever ... Michael's career will be over". It was painful. Yet Michael still persisted, years later, in bringing less fortunate children to NeverLand, because that was more important to him. Even though the pain and hurt he had gone through had probably never healed. His strength is one of the reasons why I admire him so much.
Then there was another incident, this time of him 'dangling' his baby over the window. 'omg he's crazy he wants to throw the baby down!!!!' maybe that's what it seemed like on tv and on papers, but what they didn't show is the crowd of fans below the hotel he's staying, yelling his name and wanting to also see his baby. So Michael showed them his baby, his hands wrapped under his baby's arms so tight and pulled him back as fast as he could. But what did the viewers see? A slowed-down version of him apparently dangling his baby in mid-air like a bad father. Its ignorance if people believed he was going to actually throw his own baby down the building. And at that time, I was one of the ignorant ones. I remembered looking at the pictures on some gossip magazine and felt slightly freaked out. But now I realise how much he loved his children, and how hard he tried to protect them from the media. And again, all these negative press and biasness probably was too overwhelming....how much pain can a person take? we would never know because we're not him, its hard to understand. But maybe all these people will leave him alone now, since he's already gone.
I bought The Essential Michael Jackson cd, a compilation of hit songs by him. My dad and I watched his concerts and performances and music videos and we were more than in awe, in fact I think thats an understatement. Newfound respect and admiration for the man who was so creative and original, who dared to do things not commonly seen, creating dance steps while he sang at those times when most singers just stood there and sung. He thought of challenging and exciting music videos where people had never seen the injection of extra footage to create a kind of story. And not to mention those crazy vocals, coordinated dance moves, the famous moonwalk (I never get tired of it) and this amazing 45degree tilt he does which simply blows my mind away. It was all his signature style, the gloves, the crotch-grabbing whatever. Every single performance was done in class and so much more. He was an inspiration to people over the world, different races, and especially to African-Americans. He was an icon and also their pride.
I can rattle on and on because there's too many things about him that are truly inspiring and simply awesome but sometimes words just cant fully express it. And yes maybe I do seem a little bias but this is what I truly feel. My only regret is that I have and will never get the chance to attend one of his mind-blowing concerts and be one of those lucky fans who felt the presence of Michael Jackson, the most successful entertainer of all time, the King Of Pop.
'Smile, even though your heart is aching.'
This is one of the lyrics from his favourite song 'Smile', written by Charlie Chaplin and was sung during his memorial.
I remembered someone said something like this during the memorial, 'Even though we need him here, but I guess God needed him more'. Even though we miss him so much, Heaven is probably the place he needs to be, away from any pain, suffering or cruelty. (rhymes!) He has already achieved so much and left behind a wonderful legecy that will pass down to generations after generations.
Thank you Michael.
